Human Wizard


Physical Appearance:
- A reeking feeble old man in an oddly large (and lumpy) cloak.
- He is male, however his genitals are shrivelled up and useless. He is asexual, and unable to become aroused.
- His face is wrinkly, worn and disgusting. He smiles really big (has old man spittle in the corner of his mouth) and when talking he gets into people’s personal space. Everyone hates that, and over time his eyes have been pepper sprayed useless. His glass eyes are never pointing in the right direction (and sometimes one is a marble). He doesn’t really care though because he uses his magic vision and can see perfectly.
- He has the body of “Mr. Burns” from the Simpsons, wears a diaper and has legs that end in stumps just below the knee. Twin Asian boys live under his cloak, each carrying a leg. This makes Abra-Ka-Daniel run surprisingly fast, although his neck and head are never quite prepared when the boys start running and snap back in a hilarious fashion.
- His cloak contains many secret pockets that contain secret junk (like potions, snacks, booze, candy treats for the twin Asian boys, lotion, books, etc…)
- He smells like old man (with a hint of piss, whiskey, diaper, and pepper spray). He emits a weird heat because he is so super powerful.



Abra-Ka-Daniel was born in a port town brothel. His mother was a whore and his father was a “one night stand” travelling wizard. He does not have a relationship with his father. His mother was pretty nice and she always nurtured his love of the dark arts. She died of syphilis when he was twelve.

Abra-Ka-Daniel became quite famous and lived in that Port City, entertaining many people with his magic. Once he turned 40, he had a midlife crisis and moved out east (to the Orient). He spent a lot of time doing magician stuff and visiting Opium dens/bars. A hooker cut off his legs when he was really wasted at an opium den. When Abra-Ka-Daniel woke up that morning he went to her house and cursed her twin boys, stating that they must carry him for eternity. Abra-Ka-Daniel has worked so hard mastering the dark arts that he has become erratic and insane. After he turned 60, he ditched the opium habit and moved back to the Port City. He was expecting fame, but instead he was shunned from society and lost his eyes due to numerous pepper sprays.

Employment by the Circus:

Abra-Ka-Daniel stumbled across the circus in a drunken stupor. He saw a cozy looking caravan and went inside. The magician likes being around freaks who don’t pepper spray him and tolerate his nightly drinking. Abra-Ka-Daniel is relatively social, egotistical, and weird; he doesn’t realize that people think he is a homeless guy.


Abra-Ka-Daniel’s goal is to stay with the circus and protect his current living situation (caravan). Deep down inside, he desires youth and immortality.


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